Ten Parenting Duties I’m NOT Doing On My Break

IMG_0320After a week of childcare, I need a break. Often, I’m too tired to leave the house so I stay home and do my own thing, but this presents a challenge. Avoiding small children around the house is like trying to escape a monster in a B-grade horror film. No matter where you turn they will find you.

To help me navigate around the house without getting sucked into my kid’s tractor beam, I created a list of parenting duties I’m NOT doing on my break. This is not intended to be a rigid set of rules just a recipe for sanity. And a friendly reminder.

10. For starters, I’m NOT wiping anyone’s ass.
9. I’m NOT disposing of any boogers, snot, or nose gunk.
8. I’m NOT spending my time moving glass objects away from edges.
7. I’m NOT watching Paw Patrol.
6. I’m NOT engaging in popsicle negotiations.
5. I’m NOT allowing small people to occupy the bathroom with me.
4. I’m NOT refereeing toddler/canine wrestling matches.
3. I’m NOT receiving or giving belly blows.
2. I’m NOT allowing tiny fingers in my crevices or orifices.
1. I’m Not sharing my peanut butter toast. It’s the only thing holding me together.

Okay, now its time to hear your list. What are the parenting responsibilities you are not doing on your break? Leave a comment.